Sadly, I'm preoccupied with so much emotion which made me overwhelmed.
I crashed down again last night, acting like a kid to Ron.
After our talk, I found that school is the major reason which pisses me off.
So, I desperately want to make a change now.
But I am tired.
I just want a life that I can have time to eat, read and write.
Even draw and create.
On Friday night(TGIF), I watched the movie, "Julie and Julia."
Similar minds are found in the film, and they also go through a series of challenges and pain. Julia is born optimistic enough to face ups and downs in life, and it inspires Julie, a modern career woman like me. Somehow, I was healed to some degree.
Later,
I lay in bed, couldn't help weeping for my busy lifestyle.
Ron asked me to picture our ideal life in the coming future.
"I work in a global corporation, having energetic and creative colleagues. We brainstorm our projects, and everyone feels safe and free to propose their ideas, opinions, preferences. Then, we are proactive to put it into practice. Next, we are empathetic and open-minded enough to revise our plan based on customers' experiences. In our team, we share the same goal that make the world better even with small effort. Most importantly, people never take overwork as a etiquette.
We work smart, play smart. After work, Ron and I and our kids cook, eat, talk, play and create together. We spend night enjoying family life. Work is out of sight and out of mind. Both of us have leisure time to do what we love and we know we still make progress for sure."
"Don't just face the screen of our Mac back to back." I said twice.
Then, it's Ron's turn.
"You are being sarcastic.(lol)"
"I hope we want to tell our kids that we'd encountered some difficulties on work, but complaint is not our option. We'd taken action to make things right for us. We dare to make a change. I want our children know that we are what we do, not what we say."
"You know what?" Ron said.
"What?" I replied.
"What is the major difference between animals and human beings?" Ron said.
"Being reflective on our life?" I replied.
"I saw a research, it reported that we humans can have the power of imagination. It make people visualize their ideal future or fearful of the unknown challenge." Ron said.
"So, it's on our call. To see our ideal life in the future or shrink because of the fear of challenge. I got it." I said.
Every time I browse facebook, seeing people upload their perfect life, the annoying feeling lingers on my mind for a while. "Does the emotion stem from being envious or even jealous?" I asked myself. After second thought, the answer is definitely no. I feel upset due to the fact that I am aware that they indulge in faking or showing up or grooming their hollow life. Especially the friends ever in my life. I can't tell reality and fantasy if I interact with them. The awareness make me sick and horrified.
Watching the debate of two candidates moved us a lot.
Integrity, simple life, and devotion to the world do light up the city, the confused country. I want to be the kind of person who is confident of my profession, my honesty, my empathy, my dedication to my beloved ones and life.
Step out of the comfort zone, and work on my google test now!
你要待在封閉的環境，苦撐著做自己喜歡的事，
還是在開放的文化，挑戰自己不熟悉的事？
Work your butt off!
